Yesterday, I needed some advice.

This is a predicament we all seem to find ourselves in as we scour our lives for answers. Where should I turn? Who should I go to? These decisions are important, damnit!

Herein lies the problem: people are pretty bad at giving advice. Most people aren’t listening, and even fewer actually care. Nobody should be expected to listen or obligated to care. The world is busy. Who really wants to hear my problems? That’s what shrinks are for. 

Family and friends, you say? These are the people who have a vested interest in keeping their lives familiar and safe and assume they know you so well. They probably care, maybe too much, so they end providing advice merely because they were asked. Or easier put, giving advice when they shouldn’t. They might actually be the worst people to seek advice from. And honestly, how are they actually supposed to give you advice? They have their own pile of shit steaming in the back of their minds.

Ideally, striving to understand the context of someone’s situation (and not project based on the context of ours) should be the goal. I mean, advice from that place would actually be worth listening to. But who has time for that? We’re just grabbing coffee, dude. Shit, on further thought, I don’t even like to be told what to do. I take pride in coming to my own conclusions. Do you feel the same?

It seems obvious there’s something much easier to do than offer up advice...or, should I say, something much easier to do than project our thoughts, beliefs, and opinions onto someone else’s life problems. And it’s something family and friends should be able to do with ease.

Yesterday, when I asked for advice, all I really needed was support.

*This article is part of the ongoing Morning After series: short, reflective pieces on thoughts, feelings, and ideas about life. They’re kind of like well-manicured journal entries, written the morning after a night out.