Morning After #21: More Just Means More

When I am with family and friends, we’re having a great time. Smiling, laughing, and escaping life. That’s why they want to see more of me, I hope. I mean, that’s why I want to see more of them. I love them.

Here’s the thing, though. More time does not mean better time. It just means more. That’s it. And quite often, more just leaves you feeling like you’ve had too much. Fun becomes boring. New becomes old. Strong becomes weak. Empty becomes full. And yes, good can become bad…

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Morning After #20: Stick and Move

Make the choice and own the result. Be sad or be happy, but never dwell.

Any time I dwell, I get hit with a three-punch combo that sends me to the canvas. Physical or mental, the canvas is devastating. Of course, you can pretend you’re living inside a movie—Rocky Balboa or something. You know, the whole “winners get up from the canvas” bit. They do, but I assure you it sounds sexier to get up from the canvas than it is to actually do it. I don’t care who you are—you get knocked down enough times, eventually you’re going to start believing you're a loser…

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Morning After #19: Option 1 is Risky

I’ve been thinking a lot about patience lately.

Patience is our ability to tolerate or accept delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry. At least, that’s what the dictionary says. We need patience, almost always. But patience is also saying “no” to option 1 in favor of future options. It’s easy to say yes to option 1. It’s available and open. It’s ready for the taking, and it often has elements of what we want. But is it really?…

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Morning After #18: How Long Do You Have to Be Celibate to Be Reconstituted a Virgin?

Sometimes I wake up with love oozing out of my fingertips. I know it sounds kind of wonky, but it drips from my fingernails to the page. A spigot of heat, if you will. Love is a big topic, one I’ve written about before. How can I not? It’s so primal. So visceral. It lives inside us. Shit, I even wrote a letter to love. I loved that piece. Still do.

Today isn’t about love, though. It’s about a lack of it. Maybe that’s why it’s creeping out of my pores. The worst grievance the coronavirus has caused me, which is pretty fortunate, is that I haven’t had sex all year. What? I know, I know. It’s the longest I’ve ever gone. If sex makes you uncomfortable, don’t read this…

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Morning After #17: Feelings Head On

Sometimes you’re on a collision course with heartbreak. Sadness. Love. Excitement. I don’t know. Whatever it is, you hit it directly. In baseball, they call it a no doubter. The bat meets the ball head on. Boom. It’s a home run, and you know it with every ounce of your being.

Music has a funny way of getting you there. But it’s more than music—there’s something bigger happening…

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Morning After #16: Attraction is Fleeting

In fourth grade, I put a tack on a teacher’s chair because a girl told me to. Actually, a boy dared me, but the girl was sitting next to me. She laughed when he said it, so I did it. I got sent home from school, and my mom wanted to kill me. But the teacher deserved it and that girl was my first kiss. So was it worth it? Well, it took me twenty years just to remember the specifics. How can I regret it? Seemed like good trade at the time, and still does. That teacher was the worst. Plus, I liked the girl. So yeah, it was worth it.

I’ve been out and about, thought I was attracted to someone…

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Morning After #15: Are You the Bunny or the Hat?

As you get older, you get more lonely.

There’s no way around it. Maybe this is sad, but it’s just the truth. Going to bed without a warm body next to you is a haunting experience for a soft heart. The only thing worse is a dead body, which can happen in one of two ways—literally or figuratively. I’m still trying to figure out which is worse.

When I look at people younger than me, I see myself, but a version that existed two mind states ago. I can’t pinpoint when the shift occurred, exactly, but…

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