Excerpt from Tom Collins: A 'Slightly Crooked' Novel
November 2, 2021 is almost here. Tom Collins: A ‘Slightly Crooked’ Novel will be available everywhere in just about a week. Crazy. It’s my first work of fiction, so I’m pretty excited to (finally) get it out into the world. A little scared, but mostly excited. I thought it would be fun to give you a small taste.
So, here’s a short excerpt from Tom Collins:
It’s 8pm on the nose. Liv should be here any minute. I’m pretending to watch the game, but I’m on a bed of nails waiting for her to walk through the door. I feel like Tony Soprano watching the diner entrance in the series finale. Am I about to get whacked? Each time the door opens, a cool draft blows across the room, my heart skips a bit thinking it might be her, and I can hear Jack say, “Don’t bang her again.”
It’s ten past eight and my drink is already getting low. Do I order another? No way. I’ll never stand up to the fire. I’ll melt like ice cream in the summer. The bartender looks at me. “Another?”
“Sure. Why not?” I say, astonished at my weakness. I see the front door open again, and finally; there she is. She came. Standing there, looking around. Should I make her sweat it out? Nah. I raise my hand, she sees me, smiles, and begins to walk over.
“So, you decided to show up?” she says, beating me to the punch.
“Funny. I was about to say the same thing to you.”
It doesn’t take her long to start flirting. “You look great, as always.”
“And, by ‘always,’ you mean the two times you’ve seen me? Unless, of course, you’re stalking me.”
She hits my shoulder. “Right!”
I’ve seen her three different ways before tonight: casual with her hair pulled back, stunning in formal wear, and, well, naked. I’d gladly take her in all three. Tonight, though, she has an edgy look to her. At first I can’t tell, but when I offer her my seat at the bar, she takes her overcoat off, and lays it on the back of the chair. It reveals a couple rips in the knees of her jeans, black leather bomber, and heeled boots. All complementing her darker make-up and messy blonde hair.
Liv orders a martini, and I stand there nursing my second cocktail while hovering at her right side. The real conversation hangs over our heads like a dark cloud. I look to savor the last moments of sunlight, but I can’t resist the sound of thunder in my mind.
“So . . . I have to ask you. Did you know? Did you know I work for your husband?”
She looks back in awe. “Wow,” she says. “Absolutely not.”
I didn’t mean to offend her, but I do want to know. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. You just have to admit it’s the craziest coincidence ever,” I say.
She looks down at her drink, then at me. “Yes, it is.” She takes a sip and continues, “Did you know I was married to Tim?”
Her cleverness strikes me, I clam up for a second, and sputter. “Funny, Liv. No, I didn’t even know you were married. Let alone to my freaking boss!”
“Oh, please,” she snaps back. “We both know you didn’t want to know any details about me. If you did, would it have even mattered?” I sit there in silence for ten seconds which feels more like ten minutes.
She nudges me. “Huh, would it?”
I have no choice but to answer honestly and shamefully. “No, probably not.”
Did you enjoy the excerpt? If so, it might be time to give it a shot. All the links are below. (If not, no worries, we can still be friends.)
On sale: $4.99 $2.99 ebook / $9.99 paperback
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DV, 2021