In this episode of the It’s Not What It Seems podcast, I have a compassionate conversation with Mark Goulston, MD. Mark is a psychiatrist, consultant, and the author of the international bestsellers Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone and Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life as well as five other books. He is a former UCLA professor of psychiatry, FBI hostage negotiation trainer, and currently works as an executive coach and an adviser to CEOs and founders of Fortune 100 companies. He’s been named one of America’s top psychiatrists 4 times by the Consumers’ Research Council of America, and frequently featured in the Wall Street Journal, Fortune, CNN, NPR, Fox News, and BBC-TV. He’s also been featured on Oprah and contributed to the Harvard Business Review, Business Insider, Fast Company, Huffington Post, and Psychology Today.

Mark is the CEO and co-founder of the Goulston Group. Some of his current and past clients include IBM, GE, Disney, Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, FedEx, Morgan Stanley, Hyatt, the American Bar Association, and the FBI. He serves on the Board of Advisors for Health Corps and Brainrush and is the co-founder of the global community Heartfelt Leadership. You can connect with him on Twitter: @MarkGoulston Visit his website: markgoulston.com

In this episode, we’ll discuss:

Why it’s important to handle yourself first before you can effectively communicate with others (19:19)
How to do the rope-a-dope like Mohammed Ali in an argument with your significant other (27:29)
How to handle the Donald Trumps in your life (36:45)
Our brand new communication strategy: “The Hot Potato Technique” (40:35)
How to deal with givers, takers, and receivers (46:57)

LINKS & RESOURCES:

Read Mark’s books...

Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life: http://bit.ly/talkingtocrazyGoulston

Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone: http://bit.ly/justlistenGoulston

Connect with Mark at his website: http://markgoulston.com/

Connect with Mark on Twitter: @MarkGoulston

A bit about Wilfred Bion, who said “the purest form of listening is to listen without memory or desire” http://bit.ly/TheArtofListeningBion

Goulston’s article following Robin Williams’ suicide: http://bit.ly/DepressionAloneDoesntKill

Goulston’s article following Anthony Bourdain’s suicide: http://bit.ly/whypeoplekillthemselves

Goulston’s HBR article, How to Know If You Talk Too Much: http://bit.ly/doyoutalktoomuch

Marty Nemko’s NPR career channel: http://bit.ly/WorkWithMartyNemko

BOOKS FROM EPISODE:

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie: http://bit.ly/HowToWinAndInfluence

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith (a book that’s changed Goulston’s thinking): http://bit.ly/WhatGotYouHereWont

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